1. Driving to swimming lesson. Five year old O, in indignant tones: Mummy, do you know that you're polluting the planet right now?
2. On Mother's Day: I think it should be Children's Day now, cos it's after six o'clock.
3. Trying to convince me to let him stay up longer: There's no point in me going to bed. I never go to sleep anyway. I just lie in bed with my eyes open all night.
4. On the return to school of a home-schooled classmate: Parents don't know as much as teachers so he's had to come back.
5. On plans for the future: I'm not going to university when I leave school. I'm going to have a rest and then I'll buy a job later on.