Wednesday, 23 June 2010

My new perfume? Yes, it's eau de cat pee...

I have just been out with Glamorous Friend and her chubby little godson for a coffee and a toasted fruit teacake at the local garden centre. We had a lovely time catching up and playing with baby H and all was rosy. As usual, Glamorous Friend was looking good - eye make-up and accessories matching subtly with her pretty summer top. She looked good. I looked alright, it was just a bit upsetting that I had pink arms from wrist to mid-forearm where I'd accidentally caught the sun on my gothically pale skin yesterday. I'd been painting the shed and got carried away, forgetting that I should be wearing Factor 4000 and hiding under a parasol...

I got home from the garden centre and sat down to check the post and noticed a strange aroma rising from my shirt. Surely not...

The Cat had been hiding in the wardrobe a couple of nights ago and M didn't realise and closed the door. We were watching the World Cup downstairs when I heard a strange thumping noise coming from upstairs. Thinking it was O, I galloped up the stairs. I realised it was The Cat trapped in the wardrobe from the accompanying wails coming from the bedroom. I flung open the door and was greeted by The Cat hanging from my clothes by her claws and with a wee-soaked tail. The poor love had panicked and lost control - all over my hanging clothes. I removed the offended garments and bunged them in the washing machine, pausing only to wipe the mortified cat free of her shame. I thought I'd got it all...

But no. There it was rising in a fetid cloud from my flowery shirt. I stripped it off, my vest too smelt of wee - surely not my bra! Sadly, the bra appeared to be the source of the wee - I had basically been out of the house with my underwear drenched in rank feline urine. Surely this is the epitome of social shame...


  1. I am so sorry, but I am now crying tears of laughter.

    How mortifying. Maybe it was only noticable to you? Think positive, unless your friend starts refusing to get near you, then maybe it wasn't noticable only to you ;)

  2. ha ha ha, I too have suffered from a cat in a wardrobe, oh my it took 4 washes to get the stench out of everything. I also burn, but neat this I was on a bus with 40 odd 5 year olds yesterday and I was the one vomitting in the bucket!

  3. Bet you smelt better than a Katie Price perfume though

  4. Yikes! But this did make me laugh!

  5. Oh nooooooooooooooooo... My son shut the cat in our bedroom recently and I opened the door to find a soaking wet bed and a big turd in the middle of the duvet. Bless.

  6. Try bottling it - I'm sure someone would buy it!! Very funny - it would happen on the day you were out with a glamorous friend. It's always the way isn't it!