I was tagged by two lovely bloggy chums, the comical Laura at Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy and Elsie Anderton at Babylon Lane Tales. The meme was created by Kerry at Mrs Lister Writes and is based on the Q&A in the Guardian Weekend supplement. I have been reading these articles on a Saturday for years, so the chance to answer my own was a pleasure and also strangely difficult. Laura and Elsie did themselves proud with their answers - here's my go...
Which living person do you most admire, and why?
Oh, bugger. All I can think of is people who are dead or who I fancy - I'm so emo and shallow.
When were you last happiest?
One lazy afternoon a few weeks ago, when time stood still and I felt like me again.
What was your most embarrassing moment?
There are many, but the one that springs to mind is a body-racking, nose-snorting uncontrollable fit of hysteria on a non-fixed pew during Midnight Mass. It still makes me want to curl up in a ball...
Aside from property, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever bought?
My car - she's only a Skoda Fabia, but she's sleek and black and has the most amazing grille. I fell in love with that grille and had to have her. I didn't realise that I had a latent love of shiny car grilles till I met Flash Fabia...
What is your most treasured possession?
Old Teddy - my Gran's teddy. He's in his eighties and I love him so. He's fragile and his wood shaving innards are poking out of his chin, but he's lovely...
Where would you like to live?
I am a real home bird - I want to live at home with my friends and family around me. I'd like my house to grow more rooms and a bigger garden, but I'm not really as bothered as I used to be. Am trying to live life in a contented way and live it now. It's not in my nature - I hardly ever live in the moment, but I keep trying...
What’s your favourite smell?
Sun-warmed cat and my Gran's Ponds cream and Max Factor powder scent...
Who would play you in the film of your life?
Would have to be Winona Ryder or if I was really pushing it, my idol, Twin Peaks' Audrey Horne, the wonderful Sherilyn Fenn. Oh, I love her....
What is your favourite book?
So many, I can't choose. One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitzyn, The Diary of Anne Frank, Wuthering Heights and What Katy Did at School spring to mind...
What is your most unappealing habit?
Eating the corners of my books. I really have to rein it in when I'm reading ones I've borrowed. The taste of book leaves is something earthy and splendid. *cackles insanely*
What would be your fancy dress costume of choice?
Something with a corset, pinched in and pushed up. Perhaps with stockings. That's is the way I roll.
What is your earliest memory?
In my cot, licking my finger and making little wet marks on the kittens wallpaper of my bedroom. I can still remember the feeling of satisfaction and peace it gave me.
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Sleep, or failing that, just lying down. I am slothful by nature and hibernation is my default setting. Don't judge me - I am so good at it, it would be a crime not to.
What do you owe your parents?
Where do you start with this? Without them and the start they gave me, where would I be today?
To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
To my mum and dad for inadvertently giving them so much grief during my late teens. So sorry.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
M. I loves him....
What does love feel like?
It's a ball of cosy warmth, shot through with sparks of lust
What was the best kiss of your life?
Pressed up against a dirty, sweaty nightclub wall. Aren't all the best ones?
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
"I can't find it"
What is the worst job you’ve done?
Packing during summer holidays at university. £4 an hour, packing all manner of crap. The worst had to be packing the cheap toiletries in shredded tissue paper. After a morning's work packing the lilac tissue into the little basket, I would blow my nose and the snot would be pure lilac. Hideous...
If you could edit your past, what would you change?
I'd have worn a helmet on my recent return to roller-skating. Skull fractures are no fun for anyone, least of all a long-suffering family who have done enough looking after the invalid.
What is the closest you’ve come to death?
Sat in Ward 15 after my first chemo, waiting for CT scan results to see whether a shadow on my lung was secondary breast cancer. The remembrance of the searing fear and horror of those two days still makes my heart pound. I am thankful every day that it turned out to be a chest infection.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I am a total scaredy-cat, but I once jumped off a 6500 foot mountain which was like an enormous 'fuck-you' to the anxiety I have battled all my life. I'm a simple soul, with delusions of incipient greatness. I haven't done anything particularly outstanding in my life, but discovering that I'm good at being a mother is a pleasing revelation.
When did you last cry, and why?
Today when I was too tired to think straight.
How do you relax?
Reading, preferably in a prone position on the bed, even better if under the duvet. Also having the most fantastic tickle fights with little O.
What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
For someone to tell me that I will never have cancer again
What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
For fuck's sake, stop mithering about and just get on with it. I struggle to adhere to this one, but keep on trying. Oh - and always wear a helmet when roller-skating.
My turn to tag. I am late to the party as usual, so they may have done the deed, but I pick:
I hope you are up for it, ladies. Would love to nosy at your answers...